Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Matching Bras

My Daughter and I bought matching bra's recently. We finally gave away our matching dresses from when she was little. She wore her dresses from when they hung at her ankles until they barely covered her little behind; then I had to admit, she was getting too big for our 3-set parade of matching dresses. I could not just put them in bag on the front porch to go to the next charity that came by to pick up our donations. I could not bring them to Goodwill. I wasn't able to drop them in a clothing donation box at her school. It seemed silly to save them--I wouldn't wear my dresses without her counterpart--what would I be saving them for? I don't make quilts or pillows or even patch jeans for that matter. No, the fabric would rot before the dress material would be put to good use.

I finally thought of a church member who was close enough to my size with a little girl with room to grow. We put the matching dress sets together in a bag, brought them to church and set them in the pew where they normally sit, a sacred offering of love and memories, the incense of mother and child. We were so happy when our offering was accepted and they came to church one Sunday clad in the red dress set, happily connected, the daughter not yet embarrassed by her mom.

My daughter and I have not yet worn our matching bras. I don't know that they will offer that same sense of bonding and excitement at being alike that matching dresses did when my Daughter was 4 and 5 and 6. She was too embarrassed to join me in the store to buy new underwear, much less a real bra. I don't even have real breasts, having just had re-constructive surgery 3 months ago after having a double mastectomy 2 years ago. Developing breasts is not necessarily good news for my Daughter and is accompanied by even more conflicted feelings for her than other girls. So the blue satin waits in our drawers--a sacred offering of hope that eventually we can wear them with a smile, and trust that whatever lies beneath is beautiful because it is matched with love.

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